a different me .

i sat here for about 2O mins staring at this picture & trying to figure out what i wanted to name this . all of my past posts about my 'boyfriend' have all been a little harsh i must admit . now i 've come to a point to realize things about our relationship . REAL LOVE , is exactly what we have . as much as we fight , argue , say how much we hate each other , etc . . we love each other deeep down inside . right now , we just cannot do this with each other . . we both are trying to do our OWN things , going to college & making something of ourselves . we had our lives planned out around each other . the kids , the house in Florida , the nice things , and most of all the love . that sounds to me like the PERFECT ending to my life being with the guy i ' m most in love with - the two perfect litttle children the nice house and the puppy . . i saw my future with him & for it to end was it was kind of hard for us in the beginning of our separation but , i know now that it 's for the better . For right now , i 'm closing that chapter in my life . After June 18th 2009 , i will be writing a new & improved version of me . . the sexier side of me , the nicer side , the more loveable side , the content side , the new me ! Jeraud, i wishh you all the luck in the world , i hope you prosper with everything you doo . I will always remember & love youu .. you were my first , & hopefully when all is said and done ; you 'll find me in your future as your last . last night , i recieved this text on my sisters phone .. i took it as a complete shock !it was VERY unexpected . seeing as tho , we really have no words to say to each other when we ' re around & that we dont talk on the phone and we dont spend time with each other - i was COMPLETELY SHOCKED! no doubt , i was happy as shit ! lOl .

and if you were wondering , i DO love and miss him too .